Dear my wonderful, soulful clients,
Yes you: I'm still thinking about you. Every day. You are my teachers. Your collective vulnerability sits with me and stirs me.
I'm still remembering that session five years ago when you were struggling get pregnant while also considering advancing your career.
I am still pondering the weight of your family responsibilities as you also make a difference in the world, at work and with your multitude of friends.
I'm still seething from the indignity of that comment during the meeting when that guy underminded your authority.
I still am blown away by how you led the transformation of your organization's culture so that every aspect of the work would take into the account the effects of racial injustice. I know it was unfair that you were called upon to do that as the only woman of color and I admire you for doing it anyway, and doing it so well.
I'm still smiling from that moment when you were able to laugh at how hard you are on yourself when you're so compassionate and forgiving of everyone else.
I'm still inspired by your ideas even though they are not mine to share in this space, and even though you haven't had a chance to breathe life into them - yet.
I'm still really mad that you had to endure those patronizing, flirty comments. And I am so impressed that you took the risk to find the support you needed. And you got it. Nice.
I am still mourning the loss of your career and freedom since you've decided to take care of your mother in your home.
I am still devastated by the election outcome and especially about how hard it hit you when you worked so long and so hard for a different outcome.
I still stand in admiration that you are balancing taking care of your child's special needs AND being so thoughtful about your leadership at work AND making space to ensure that you are calm and peaceful in yourself.
I'm still reflecting on how you were so bold in calling attention to inequality in promotions and how you made such a strong case for your own advancement. And how now they could not imagine the department without you at the helm. Yes. You did that.
I still feel my own stomach churn with the shared guilt of not doing enough to fight for social justice, but when you told me how much is on your plate, I felt angry at the injustice that there is such a deeply entrenched burden on you, the woman, to handle EVERYTHING.
I still notice how much you put into developing authentic work relationships while also becoming fearless in your true talent of being strategic and decisive. If others feel threatened by your power, I know a coach that they can hire. Ha! And, let it be know - I LIKE YOU A LOT.
I still want to remind you that a whole bunch of people don't have the patience to do the research and they need people like you. And you need the people who will help you synthesize and take action. And all these people are just perfectly fine with the strengths that they have. I haven't checked in with you for a while, but I hope you continue to let go of that critical voice and have found the right partners.
I am still sitting with the feelings of going through your parents things and clearing out their house while you ponder your next career move.
I still hold sacred that you deeply desire a life partner and there's no perfect way to r hold a space for that possibility while also pursuing your your other life and career ambitions.
I still see how you are the glue to so many communities, at work, in your family and how though you thrive in this role, right now you are utterly depleted.
I still see your inner-child receiving your love and compassion - the kind she always deserved to have. I see how kind you are to her now and how that has softened and strengthened you. And I see how this is freeing you to embrace the power of adulthood.
I am still enlivened by how you have begun to work from your strengths and own them instead of trying to fit into some mythical perfect leader role. And to see the power of those strengths unfold!
I am still breathing easier because you found your boundaries and your routines that keep you centered. And because even when you abandon your boundaries and fall out of your routines, you and your body remember how to find your way back to them. Well done!
I am still moved that you have shed beliefs about yourself that have kept you from leading from who you are and living into your AMAZING vision.
I am still humbled that you were able to recognize that it was too much; that there was an unhealthy imbalance that could not be fixed. That you gave it everything you had, and more than most human beings could. And it was not salvageable. And you moved on.
I am still feeling feisty and bold because of that stand you took on YOUR expertise and YOUR contributions in the fight for reproductive rights. Own it, sister!
I'm still celebrating that you are doing that thing you said for so many years that you wanted to do. You! You are doing it! Yay!
I am still celebrating what you needed to mourn and let go of to get to this new place in this new chapter. What a beautiful butterfly you are.
I think about you all the time. I am thinking about you right now which is why I needed to write this letter to you. I could write these little snippets all day. I see you there making powerful requests. Getting focused. Holding firm boundaries. Falling down. Recovering. Retreating. Coming back. Creating new models of women's leadership. Insisting on being a change-maker and leader while insisting on being present to your life outside of work and social change. I think I should write a book or a blog or something to give to the world from all the insight and nuance I've gained from the great privilege of hearing your challenges and triumphs. And I will, someday. Some season. Like you, I am sitting with a lot on my plate. I am giving so much in so many places, taking so much in, forever learning. For now, just know, I am still thinking about you.
To your success and thriving,
We conspire with mission-driven women to lead, succeed and thrive in their careers, lives and organizations.
Individuals: We envision women who are enlivened, empowered and emerged. Our members have clarity of purpose and lead from strengths.
Community: We bring communities of women into the practice of seeing each other's strengths and potential. We envision multiplying communities of women-fueling-women's success and impact.
World: We conspire to unlock the potential energy & contributions of 51% of the human population. When this potential energy, thought power, and talent is unleashed, we will solve even the most difficult problems and transform the world.